How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country
A Historical, Humor, Comedy book. If Mr. Fantastic and Professor X had a baby, there would be tons of questions, but also it would be...
Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea. As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence. And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass. Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our...
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More About How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country
Between his dueling and military career, Jackson had been shot so many times that scholars says he "rattled like a bag of marbles" when he walked as a result of all of the never-removed bullets taking up residence in his body. The pieces of shrapnel he carries around like internal medals of honor are about ten times larger than your balls and infinity times as armored. Daniel O'Brien, How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country // Despite a legacy consisting of enough violence and death for twenty men, Jackson admitted to having two regrets on his deathbed: I didnt shoot Henry Clay and I didnt murder John C. Calhoun. In a life rich with murdering people for little-to-no reason, Jacksons only regret was that he didnt kill quite enough people. People like Calhoun, who, it should be noted, was Jacksons vice president. No one is safe from Jacksons wrath. Daniel O'Brien, How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country // If Mr. Fantastic and Professor X had a baby, there would be tons of questions, but also it would be Abraham Lincoln. Daniel O'Brien, How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country //
I received this book as part of Goodreads' FirstReads giveaway.Words cannot truly describe the usefulness of this book, nay, life guide. After completing it, I felt like I could take on every single U.S. president, except Teddy Roosevelt, because come on, it's Teddy Roosevelt. This is a must-read for anyone with a time machine and a... This is a cute book. Not laugh out loud funny but a good joke. You don't really learn 'how to fight' the Presidents, you just hear how 'badass' they were. Worth a goof.Imagine yourself as you are now magically teleported to face off against US Presidents when they were elected. Who could you take?Me? Working backwards, it takes until... I thought this book was terrific. Or, to put it in the vernacular of the book itself, it was cool as balls. Hot as balls? One of those. Anyway, totally testicular. Which, given the premise -- fighting the crazy badasses who ran America -- is exactly summationy.There are times when I laughed out loud, which gets an automatic four stars...
